When Your Super Woman Aesthetic Fails You

Like every other black woman in this country, I am a strong black woman. Not only am I strong but I am a super black woman” and a super black mom. But for this strong black woman, these past few months have cut a little deeper, it’s hurt a bit more. Why? Because black women are the center of it all. It’s like being the middle child of the whole community. We’re busy taking care of those that came after us and holding down the older ones.

As the middle child, we’re old enough and capable enough to take care of ourselves. No one is coming to help us because we hold it down when mom and dad aren’t around. We are responsible, reliable, and would put our well being before others. And yet we are still pursuing our goals and being the best that we could be. We’re going after our dreams feverishly, and checking off our action items one by one.

This lifestyle is so detrimental to our wellness. It’s killing us and it’s not ok. I have to be ok with knowing that I can’t be everything to everyone all the time. I have to focus on creating joy and health for me. I have to be intentional about rest and taking care of my mental health. I think it’s important for me to journal my feelings and communicate what I need to my loved ones. And sometimes, if you can’t find the words you need to communicate with your loved ones and if it’s too hard to sort through your thoughts and feelings, then maybe it’s time to talk to a therapist.

I don’t have the answers but I’m doing what feels right. I’m resting, giving lots of hugs to my kid, praying and meditating, and talking with those that matter to me the most. How are you really doing sis?